Forever Eighteen
by Aria6
Summary: Axel is eighteen years old... but what he does not realize, and no one around him can see, is that he's always been eighteen. Roxas has to make him remember the truth before it's too late. Eventually Roxas/Axel. Enjoy and review!
1. Chapter 1

_We sang this song together,_

_Even if no one knows the words._

_We love and dance together,_

_Even if no one is in time,_

_Forever, endeavor,_

_Eighteen years gone by._

_Forever, endeavor,_

_Seven lives you die…_

Axel lifted his head up, wondering where he'd heard that song… and why he was singing it just now. Oh… yeah. It was his eighteenth birthday today.

Axel grinned at the thought, and turned his attention back to his work. As soon as he was finished the last of the repairs, he'd be free to go, and with that incentive he'd been making very good time. If only this last car would cooperate.

He was working at a rather good, independent car shop. They weren't the cheapest but they were fast and good. They didn't give a damn what degrees you had or didn't have, as long as you could fix the cars. Which was good for Axel, because he was as paperless as the internet. He vaguely remembered dropping out of school in disgust. His family had been disappointed but had understood that school just wasn't his thing. They were proud that he had a good job using his skills. Really, what more could you ask for?

Axel smiled as he thought about the other good things in his life. A nice apartment, cable and internet, good books… and most of all, someone to share it all with. Sora was a complete sweetie. Axel wasn't sure it would last… Sora was too good for him, really, with all his plans for university and the grades to go with it… but Axel would support him in whatever he wanted to do. Sora was only sixteen, but his parents had kicked him out when they'd found out he was gay. Axel himself swung both ways. If Sora eventually did leave, Axel vaguely thought that he would find a girl next time. His mom liked Sora, but she would like to see grandbabies even better. Finishing the last of the work on the car, he tested the engine and grinned.

"Success! Hey Marty, can I go?" Axel called to the dark haired man who was doing some custom detailing. He didn't look up.

"Yeah, get out of here. Good work and all that jazz." Axel laughed and went over to the sink to clean up, then found his bag. He had packed a change of clothes so he wouldn't have to go home before heading out to the new nightclub Sora wanted to take him to.

When he got there, he found an unexpected surprise.

"Happy birthday Axel!" Demyx and Larxene were both there as well. Demyx impulsively hugged him as Larxene laughed. Axel grinned and hugged him back… the guitar player was Sora's friend, really, from his school. But it was impossible not to like the sandy haired teen. Larxene now, she was his friend. They'd had a thing once, but had parted company a while back. Axel vaguely wondered how long it had been, but it couldn't have been very long. He was only eighteen. Larxene was quite a bit older, maybe twenty-three, but it hadn't made any difference to them.

"Thanks Dem. Hi Larx… where's Sora?" He couldn't see the brunette, but he had to be around. Then Sora turned the corner and walked over briskly, smiling. He was carrying a red rose.

"For you, Axel." It was a slightly girly gesture, but Sora knew Axel would be delighted… and he was, laughing and taking the flower and threading it through his hair. The thorns didn't bother him, and the bloom looked lovely against blood red hair. Sora couldn't help but giggle. "You're such a freak!" Sora hugged him and Axel hugged him back, catching his lips for a quick kiss.

"You know you love it." Sora looked up into vibrant green eyes, and felt like his heart was ready to burst from happiness. He loved Axel so much, it almost hurt sometimes. Sora's smile was so vibrant, so happy, that it was like a ray of sunshine… and Axel heard Demyx making an 'aww' sound behind him and Larxene muttering something about sugar overload. "C'mon, lets check out this club of yours. I hope it's not going to be a total eyesore like the last one?" Axel teased Sora gently as he blushed. The last club the brunette had taken them to had involved a lot of crazy, super modern disco lighting. Including a strobe effect that had nearly sent Demyx into a fit.

"This one's a lot better, you'll like it, I promise!" And Sora dragged a grinning Axel over to the line for the nightclub. It was still early, so it wasn't too long. Soon, they would be having fun.

They were all oblivious to a silent presence watching them.

* * *

_He looks so happy. I almost feel bad about what I have to do._

_Almost. But if he doesn't remember, he won't survive. And that would be such a tragedy. He really is beautiful if you can see what lies inside… the way I can._

_So big, yet so simple and fierce. Beautiful. I can't waste any time. I need to get started now._

_I'm sorry Axel._

* * *

"Hey." A soft voice spoke at Axel's elbow. He glanced down to see a boy with spiky blond hair, big blue eyes and… carrying a doll? That was very odd. The kid looked like he would need a false ID at the best of times, like Sora, so why on earth would he carry a doll?

Although it looked like bondage Barbie. Axel grinned as examined it for a moment. A dark skinned, black haired, ravishingly female doll… with very odd, hoofed legs, wings and horns. Not to mention leather straps for clothing, and a whip in one hand.

"Hi there. Nice doll." He couldn't help but say. The boy smiled, but a touch sadly, and offered him the doll.

"Want to see?" Axel shrugged and took the doll, examining it a bit more. It felt like porcelain but was incredibly detailed. The eyes seemed to sparkle and the doll had an impish smile on her face.

"It's nice, I guess. Here-" Axel suddenly stopped as he realized the boy was gone. "…?" Looking around slowly, he couldn't see the boy anywhere. And the doll had to be expensive. "What in hell?" Frowning, he tucked the doll under one arm and went to find his friends. Maybe they would know what to do… or maybe they had seen that kid.

Axel hadn't even gotten his name.

* * *

_That will help with anything minor. But Chemistra can only do so much… and she can't break through his shell at all. He'll just forget seeing her, and everyone else will too._

…

_This is going to be so hard. I can't see any awareness in him at all. What am I supposed to do?_

_I'll have to make it up as I go along._

* * *

The doll was quickly forgotten as they all had fun at the nightclub, but Axel took it home with him without thought. It was left, abandoned and forgotten, on his nightstand as he and Sora made passionate love.

"Axel… ah…" Sora moaned as he was rocked into the bedsheets, the hot red head over him and inside him. Axel grinned wickedly as Sora's sounds increased in urgency as he found Sora's sweet spot. He loved nothing better than driving Sora completely crazy.

"Scream it like you mean it, Sora." Axel groaned as Sora tightened around him, those soft, velvety walls bringing him close to the edge… but not quite, not yet. He wanted to make this last.

"Axel!" Sora half-shrieked as Axel stroked him with one hand, moving into him in a hard, fast rhythm. It felt heavenly, so good and intense…

"Sora!" If either of them had been able to think of anything else, they might have noticed that the Barbie on the nightstand seemed to be touching herself.

But they were distracted, and didn't see.


	2. Bondage Barbie Strikes Again

Axel frowned as he looked up from the car he was fixing. He felt like someone was watching him. He'd felt that way all day, and it was starting to get very annoying… but he had no idea what he could do about it. It had to be his imagination. There was nothing there.

Sighing, he went to the bathroom, then outside for a quick smoke break. He liked cigarettes a lot, although he knew he ought to quit. They weren't good for him at all, even if they didn't seem to affect his breath much. At least, that's what Sora said.

"Axel?" He blinked, almost jumping out of his skin at the soft voice. Then he stared as he saw the boy from the club. He looked even younger in broad daylight… maybe fourteen? How had he managed to get into that club? Although his spiky hair and big blue eyes were very cute.

"Uh, hi." Axel was momentarily off balance, then blinked. "Hey, how did you know my name?" He couldn't recall telling the boy his name. "And who are you, anyway? Are you stalking me?" It was incredibly odd that the boy would show up here… and in the back alley of the shop, too, not the front. Almost as thought the kid had been waiting for him to be alone. The boy tilted his head to one side, thinking… then smiled. It was a beautiful smile, and Axel felt his heart seize for a moment.

"Everyone knows your name, Axel. I'm Roxas. And… I guess I am stalking you. But I'm just here to protect you from your enemies." Axel stared at the boy. This was… surreal. Was the kid mentally ill? One of those crazed stalkers you could sometimes meet, who would fixate on you and never let go? That was a frightening though.

"I don't have any enemies to be protected from." Axel said gently, and the boy laughed… but with an edge of sadness.

"Oh Axel. You have more enemies than you could count… and they want you dead." Axel frowned, deciding the kid was definitely insane. "Bring the doll with you, if you can. She will help protect you." Axel blinked as the smoke from his cigarette briefly stung his eyes… and the boy was gone.

"…?" Axel stared at the spot he'd been standing, and cautiously waved a hand in front of him. He hadn't quite seen the boy vanish, but… that blink hadn't been fast enough for him to make it out of the alley even if Roxas had been a world class sprinter. "…Okay." Axel wondered uneasily if he was the one going crazy. That was… a bad thought. But crazy people heard voices and saw things… and believed people were out to get them… "Ah, shit." Shaking his head, he decided to forget about it for now.

But he would have to talk to Sora about it later.

* * *

_He can't remember a thing. He couldn't see what I am… oh, this is bad. It's really strange though. How can he still report when he doesn't remember? He must be doing it subconsciously._

…_He's so beautiful. I wonder if the humans know how blessed they are to have him here? They probably sense it, actually, even if they don't really know. His friends all love him. I hate to disturb his serenity, but I have no choice._

_No choice at all._

* * *

Axel curiously examined the doll as he made supper for him and Sora.

On closer examination, it was disturbingly lifelike. It had dark skin, the color of coffee with a few creams, and very black, long hair. Her eyes were a warm brown and seemed to move with him as he turned on the stove and cut the vegetables. That would have been creepy… but she was also smiling, a warm impish smile and her eyes seemed to glow with warmth. Despite her uncanny aspects, there was nothing sinister about the doll. Her legs were a bit odd, though. They looked like something out of a fantasy novel… they were joined like a goats, and had cloven hooves, but they were scaled. The scales were a dark purple, and there were spikes at the joints. If she were actually a person, making love to her would be a slightly difficult proposition. Those spikes looked sharp. But then, you'd just have to be a little cautious… or make sure to do it missionary. The spikes pointed more backward than forward. The wings were scaled the same way and had similar spikes…

"Am I really considering the best way to have sex with a person based off a doll?" Axel said to himself, amused, and missed the doll's sudden grin. "I wonder what her name is." He was sure the doll had some kind of name. She looked like a custom piece of work.

_Chemistra. But people call her Chem._ A voice whispered, and Axel paused, eyes widening.

"…Roxas?" He cautiously glanced around the kitchen, but no one was there. "…Okay." He looked at the doll, uneasy. "Chemistra. Okay. Um… hi there." The doll didn't say anything back, for which he was profoundly grateful. That would have been a bit much.

He quickly fried the vegetables and the hot sausage. Fresh from the local Italian supermarket, it was expensive but seriously good. Then he added the pasta sauce, and started on the noodles. He timed it perfectly… just as he was straining out the noodles, Sora walked through the door.

"Hi Axel! Oh wow, that smells good." Sora made a beeline for the food, shedding his backpack along the way, and Axel grinned. Sora was still growing and eating a ton of food… but he always made plenty to account for that.

"Thanks! I got some of that special sausage from Lina's you like. Oh… and guess what I got us for dessert?" He pointed with his chin at a white paper box on the counter. Sora beamed… he knew exactly what that meant.

"Cream cheese cannelloni! Axel, I love you." Sora gave him a quick peck on the cheek, which made Axel laugh.

"Careful! I'm straining out the noodles here." Quickly finishing that task, he added the noodles to the sauce and gave the whole thing a quick stir. "And here we go. Parmesan's on the table." It was real parmesan; from the same place as the sausage… he had a huge chunk in the refrigerator and grated a good half cup of it every time they made spaghetti. Nothing beat freshly grated parmesan… well, except maybe freshly grated black pepper. He had a pepper mill too. Axel thought sometimes that he should have been a chef… but working on cars made just as good money and the hours were better. Although ultimately, a chef could make better money if he was good. Axel smiled at the thought of himself on the Food Network. That would be… really awesome actually. "Maybe I should try that." He could always try being a chef someday. There was plenty of time. He was only eighteen. Lots of time to experiment and see what he really wanted to do with the rest of his life. Axel set the spaghetti onto the table, and Sora quickly helped himself.

"Try what? …This is SO good Axel." Sora was clearly caught up in gastronomic bliss. Axel smiled at his reactions and took a good helping of the spaghetti, drizzling the parmesan over it before taking a bite. It really was that good… he'd gotten the noodles perfect and the other flavors were just right.

"Oh, I was just thinking I could try being a chef and see if I could make a break onto the Food Network. That would be awesome." Sora made a face.

"I don't think getting on the Food Network is that easy, Axel." Then he considered Axel for a moment and grinned. "Although… with your hair, eyes and tats, you're really photogenic. Maybe you could." Axel smiled, brushing back his hair with one hand. The Food Network was all about food… but ultimately, it was also TV.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Maybe I'll try out for one of their home chef things." They ate quietly for a moment, just enjoying the food. "So how's school coming?"

"Really great! I'm helping Demyx out with his math homework." Axel smiled, a touch sadly, as Sora went on about the things they were learning. He didn't understand most of it. Math just wasn't his thing.

_Wait, what? Math isn't your thing?_ Roxas voice was clear as a bell and full of complete disbelief. Axel started violently, almost knocking his plate off the table and Sora stared.

"Uh, Axel? Are you okay?" Axel swallowed hard, glancing around, but saw… nothing. No boy with spiky blond hair and blue eyes… but that voice had been so clear.

"Sora… I was going to tell you a bit later, but…" Axel hesitated. He knew Sora wouldn't like this. Sora had an uncle who was a paranoid schizophrenic and had refused help… it had made family gatherings a torture for years until he finally went too far and hit someone with a bat. "Remember that kid who gave me the doll at the club?" Sora frowned but nodded. "I… met him again. In the back alley behind the shop. I asked him if he was stalking me, and he said yes… but to protect me from my enemies." Sora blinked, startled.

"But you don't have any enemies!" Sora immediately protested. "Everyone likes you." Axel frowned.

"Yeah, that's what I said… but he said I have a lot of enemies and they want me dead. Oh, his name is Roxas." Axel chewed his lip. "The creepy part is… he told me to keep the doll with me, that it would protect me, then he just vanished. I mean, I blinked and he was gone, it was that fast. And now I keep hearing his voice in my head." Axel couldn't keep the fear out of his voice, and Sora looked a bit scared too. His uncle had heard voices.

"Axel…" Sora reached out to touch his hand, a bit helplessly… then blinked as he suddenly thought of something. "Hey, I think I have an idea!" Axel tilted his head to one side. They really couldn't afford therapy and he didn't have health insurance. What idea could get past that? "Demyx's brother, Zexion, is a practicing psychiatrist. Maybe he could see you for cheap? I can ask." Axel blinked, then smiled warmly.

"That's a great idea Sora. I'd really appreciate it." If there was something wrong with him, he wanted to get some treatment for it immediately. Hearing voices was serious business. So was thinking you had a lot of enemies that wanted you dead.

Axel tried to ignore the exasperated sigh in the back of his mind. It wasn't real.

Couldn't be.

* * *

"Axel…" Sora gasped, eyes closed, as Axel's mouth gripped him like a vice. It was so good… Axel was deep throating him effortlessly, swallowing slowly and making Sora's eyes roll back in his head. It felt like all the blood in his body was going down to his throbbing erection.

Axel, meanwhile, was enjoying the heady scent that was _Sora_. A bit like the vanilla shampoo he used every morning and Dove soap, but a wonderful, warm scent beneath that could always drive him crazy. So beautiful and so innocent, with the other scents mixed in. So powerful… and the way Sora's erection was twitching as he moaned was an amazing turn on, too.

Caught up in what they were doing, neither one noticed the doll on the nightstand moving her head to stare at the window. It was open to let in the cool night air. And a dark hand had gripped it. Something with far too many eyes began pulling itself over the windowsill…

_**CRACK!**_ Very briefly, a woman stood and her whip snapped out with dark force behind it. The thing in the window erupted into gas, vanishing with only a smear of goo on the windowsill… and the doll tumbled onto the floor. It all took less than a second.

"Mmph… what was that?" Axel pulled back, to Sora's disappointment. He opened his eyes and glanced around, then tugged on Axel's spiky hair.

"Just a car backfiring… please Axel…" Axel grinned at the need in Sora's voice, and went back to what he was doing.

Sora had to be right. What else could it be?

* * *

The next morning.

"Ew." Sora regarded the stuff on the windowsill, wondering what it could be. It was dark purple and… gooey. Very gooey. "Hmm." Deciding to be virtuous… Axel was usually the neater of the two… he went to get some cleaners out of the kitchen. Removing the stuff proved to be difficult, but he finally got it off, and looked suspiciously up at the apartment above them. "Did one of those kids throw a jar of jelly off the balcony?" Sora tapped his cheek thoughtfully. "Maybe that was the sound we heard last night."

A completely reasonable and utterly wrong theory. Axel rolled over in his sleep… his shift started late today… as he heard Roxas laughing in his dream. And female laughter joined him. If Sora had looked over at the doll, he would have seen that Chemistra was grinning.

But he didn't look and didn't see.


	3. The Far off Future is Now

_Axel… listen to me. This is really stupid._

"Shut up. You're a figment of my imagination." Axel muttered as he guided his car through traffic. He was going to his first appointment with Dr. Zexion and wanted to be early.

_No I'm not._

"Then you're a symptom of my insanity. Either way, hush." Axel pulled into the parking spot, frowning. He was getting more accustomed to speaking to Roxas… and he thought that was a bad thing. Roxas wasn't real.

_The not real person who gave you a real doll._

"Stop using logic here." That part of things made Axel uneasy. He had the doll with him in a brown paper bag… it was embarrassing to admit, but he felt better with it nearby. Besides, he should probably show it to Dr. Zexion. It was likely a symptom of his problem.

It had been a week since the problem started and Roxas was… disconcertingly real in some ways. He'd absently supplied Axel with answers to Sora's math problems, even when Axel was hissing at him to stop. And that was the kind of thing Axel just wasn't any good at, so how was Roxas doing it if he was just a sign of mental illness? Unless he was some kind of alternate personality, but that was usually caused by childhood trauma, Axel had been told. His childhood had been nice, if a little boring.

_You don't even remember your childhood. Stop lying to yourself._

"Of course I remember my childhood!" Axel hissed at Roxas, but he didn't stop.

_Oh really? Do you remember the name of the person who sent you through the great rift? He was your best friend. He convinced you that you were the only one who could survive the trip. Do you remember that?_

"What? No! I remember playing in an oak tree, which is what happened! Shut up!" Axel said uneasily as a vague memory seemed to bubble up from somewhere. A dark place… a sweet smell… a sound that was like tinkling bells… but then the memory, if it had even been a memory, was gone. Axel took a deep breath, focusing on walking into the Doctor's office. People were starting to give him odd looks. Talking to yourself was one thing… arguing with yourself was something else again. Roxas started to say something, but then seemed to think better of it and fell silent. Axel was grateful for that. He wasn't sure how much more of the blond he could take.

"Hi, I'm here to see Dr. Zexion?" He said to the receptionist. She frowned at him, then looked at her computer.

"You're Axel?" He nodded, and she pointed at the chairs. "Please, have a seat." Axel obeyed, picking up an automotive magazine and quickly paging through it. He liked reading about cars. It didn't take very long for the receptionist to call him up, though. "The Doctor will see you." She pointed out a door to him, and he obediently opened it, stepping inside.

Demyx's brother was a bit of a surprise. Very slender, with odd, blueish purple hair that went over one eye, he was… very trendy. Dr. Zexion stood up, offering him a hand, and Axel took it with a smile as he wondered if homosexuality could run in the family. He knew Demyx was gay and if his brother wasn't gay too, he would eat his briefcase without sauce.

_You haven't got a briefcase?_ Axel ignored Roxas as he took a seat. He'd found, in the past week, that Roxas was very literal minded. Explaining phrases to him got a bit tedious after a while. _I can't help it, I'm new here. Not like you._ Roxas sounded a touch irritated now.

"So, Axel. My brother Demyx tells me you've been hearing voices?" Zexion's tone was gently interrogative. Axel nodded.

"Yeah… it calls itself Roxas. It all started in a club…" Axel went over the whole story for Zexion, who frowned and took a few notes. "Now he keeps telling me I need to remember, but he won't tell me what."

_It would be empty words. And I'm not a… psychiatrist. I don't know how to do this._ Axel blinked at the edge of despair in Roxas' voice. Zexion tilted his head to one side.

"Would he be willing to tell me what you need to remember?" Zexion was clearly humoring him, but Axel didn't mind. They probably needed to get to the root of his delusions.

_I could… Axel, would you lend me your voice?_ Roxas said hesitantly, and Axel blinked.

"How do I do that?" Zexion watched, a small frown on his face, as Axel spoke to himself. Axel seemed quite sane in most ways… in fact, he seemed to glow with health and energy… but this could indeed be a sign of schizophrenia.

_You… have to want it. And not fight against me. If you do you'll shut me out, you do that a lot._ Axel frowned, wondering what that meant… but tried to relax and meditate. He hadn't meditated in a long time, but he remembered how. _That's good. Keep that mindset._ As he tried to stay relaxed, he felt himself blink and his head move without direction. It was… an odd feeling. And very uncomfortable. He started to tense, but then deliberately kept himself calm.

"Dr. Zexion." The voice that came out of him sounded… younger. Zexion blinked, then swallowed.

"You are Roxas?" It was like seeing an entirely new personality emerging, and Zexion was fascinated. He'd heard of multiple personalities but never seen one… Axel smiled, but the smile was small and restrained. Not like Axel's wide, brilliant smiles at all.

"Yes. Doctor, Axel needs to remember before it is too late." Axel leaned forward as his voice… Roxas' voice… took on a note of intensity. "His enemies are coming. Some have already arrived, but we thwarted them. There will be more."

"Please, tell me what Axel needs to remember." This was fascinating. He'd never seen such a thing before, and it didn't match anything in his diagnostic manuals. A delusional multiple-personality? Oblivious to his musings, Roxas continued.

"Axel is a visitor from a higher reality." Zexion blinked. That was very… creative. "It all happened a very long time ago…" Axel frowned, in that way that was clearly… not Axel. "I'm simplifying here. There are nuances I can't communicate… anyway. There was a religious schism in our dimension about the origins of our people. It's hard to explain, but in a way, Axel is also a time traveler… although we don't think this is actually our past. It's a version of our past that could have been. I know that probably doesn't make much sense, but it's pretty much accepted that your dimension is a reflection of our past. Many of Axel's kind tried to go back here, but it is a very difficult trip and no one was sure what lay at the end. None returned or sent any messages, so it was assumed that this dimension was incompatible with our kind of life." Roxas paused as Zexion stared. He hadn't expected something this elaborate. "Axel though, is different. He was born with an unusual gift… if you could see him the way I can, you'd know he's twice the… size of most of his kind. And he radiates energy. Most of his kind live off various emissions, gravitons and energy pulses. Axel doesn't need to. He actually emits enough energy for others of his kind to live off him. It's truly rare… and that's what I'm living off of at the moment. Unfortunately, unless he remembers I cannot assume a physical form for long. The drain on me is too great and his ambient energy is not enough. I need his permission to do more, and he can't give it until he remembers more."

"So Axel survived this trip because he generates his own energy?" Zexion was fascinated. This was really a very good story. Axel… Roxas shrugged.

"Probably. That was the idea behind sending him, at least. Humans can feel the energy too, I think… that's why Axel is so popular. Being around him literally makes people feel better as they take in a bit of his energy. It's like basking in the sun. But I'm getting distracted." Roxas paused a moment, drawing a deep breath and frowning. Axel's mouth felt funny, but he wasn't sure why. Roxas couldn't know that Axel wanted a drink. "Anyway. Axel survived and began sending back reports as planned. His reports confirmed one version of the creation theory, although with some interesting differences. Unfortunately, that triggered a rather massive religious war." Zexion blinked. This was…. Extremely elaborate. He didn't believe a word of it, but it really was remarkable. "That was a long time ago. No one really blamed Axel… he was just doing what he was asked to… but a lot of us died. At this point, the creation theory he confirmed is accepted and Axel is considered to be a… well, call it a prophet. He sends us regular updates on your dimension and what it's like to be human." Roxas paused, frowning slightly. "My mouth feels strange."

"You probably need a drink. Here…" Zexion got him a glass of water, which Roxas regarded with a frown before tentatively drinking.

"Physical bodies are odd. Anyway… recently a splinter group has formed. They are small and fanatical, very dangerous. They have a prophet of their own who says that Axel's messages are false and that the true way is different… I don't have words for this. But the point is, they want to stop Axel's messages. And they will do so by any means necessary. So I was created and sent to protect Axel. That is my purpose in life… until my mission is complete, I will be incomplete, only half a true being. I must succeed, Dr. Zexion." Roxas' voice was hard and filled with a driving need. "Not just for Axel, but for myself. So I can become real. Axel can do that for me, make me whole… if only he remembers!" Roxas paused for a moment, gauging Dr. Zexion, and sighed. "You don't believe a word I'm saying, do you." He wasn't exactly surprised. He'd been telling Zexion the truth mainly for something to do, not because he thought it would make much difference. Although if he could somehow convince Zexion to help Axel remember…

"It's a very interesting story, Roxas." Dr. Zexion said as diplomatically as possible, and Roxas winced for a moment before giving him a hard look.

"Hopefully you'll realize it's more than that before it's too late." Axel blinked as Roxas abruptly let go, and cleared his throat. Zexion watched, fascinated, as he saw the real Axel come back.

"Uh… okay. That was weird. Here's the doll Roxas gave to me…" Axel let Zexion examine Chemistra as he thought uneasily about what Roxas had said. Roxas had been right, it was just words. But it was so… so detailed. Sure, Axel read science fiction at times and had a good imagination. But would he have come up with this kind of story for himself? It was bizarre.

Hopefully Zexion could help.

* * *

Later in the day.

Axel moaned softly in his sleep, tossing and turning. Sora made a small, protesting sound but didn't awaken… and Axel subsided as he began to dream. If he had been awake, the dreams would have alarmed him… but he wasn't, and his mind ranged freely into the realm of memory.

_He ranged freely among the vague, gaseous matter clouds and currents of power emissions that made up his universe. It was beautiful. If Axel had been interested in cosmic theory, he might have understood with his insight into humanity that what he was seeing was the universe as it would be in billions upon billions of years. When energies had dissipated and almost all stars had died. But life still existed. It was just a new form of life… life that existed as pure energy and lived in the void. Matter only existed as clouds, in this far off future, and the thought of matter bodies and constructs was ridiculous._

_Another of his kind approached, and Axel called a greeting. The other answered enthusiastically, and they briefly swirled together before Axel separated with alien laughter. Others of his kind were always glad to see him. Axel didn't mind. He understood why they enjoyed his presence, and it made him happy to see them happy. He had an uncomplicated view of life._

"_Have you seen the latest on the gala-bands?" Axel briefly let his mind range onto those bands of information. Information was constantly sleeting by, being carried on various wavelengths. Humanity would have understood it as a new version of the internet. Although the lack of porn might have been puzzling. Axel's people had passions, but reproduction was not really among them._

"_No… you mean the fashion in ----" The word he used could not be translated. It was something frivolous, in any case. The other ruffled in impatience._

"_No, I mean the rift project. Things are getting… not very good. Have you thought about it?" Axel felt a great reluctance to discuss it, but sighed._

"_I really don't want to. I like it here. That could kill me." Dissolution was not something he looked forward to. He loved life, loved it intensely. His friend voiced quick equation that conveyed understanding and compassion._

"_I know, you're right. But… you're still the best choice." Then his friend said his name. It was not Axel. No… his name in this place was another mathematical equation. All names were, and they were named by the elders shortly after creation. But most names were complicated and pretty, just like the bearers. Axel's name was very different, in keeping with his different nature. Short and fierce, it had progressions that hinted at exponential increases of force. It was a name of power that reflected the fact that his nature was power. Power unrestrained and unchecked. "I know I shouldn't be pressuring you, but…" He made a descending equation that expressed his despair. Axel understood. Things were getting very bad._

_Religion was one of the few things his people still fought over. And religious wars were among the most brutal known to them. In that way, they had not changed in the least from the matter creatures who had eventually given rise to them. At least, that was one theory. There was another major creation theory… that they had arisen spontaneously from the emissions of black holes. Axel wasn't sure which was true. But traveling through the great rift could tell them the truth._

_The great rift was three black holes. Sometime in the past, they had formed an orbit around each other. The flexes and stresses involved were… ghastly. But his people had mapped them out precisely. Black holes were a source of food for them, and the great rift was very rich. But as they mapped them out, they'd realized that the rift generated such stresses that it actually could serve as a gateway to… somewhere else. The past? Alternate dimensions? For a long time they hadn't been sure, but after sending through various probes they had determined that the rift gave them access to various shadow worlds. So named because they seemed to be shadows of the real world, which was of course theirs. And they seemed to go back in time. The probes had shown more primitive versions of themselves… but after a certain point, the probes stopped coming back. They weren't sure why, but they had gone back just far enough to ignite the religious debate without answering any questions. It was maddening._

_So to try to stop the debate without war, more probes had been sent… and some of his own kind. None had returned. It was frightening… but if there was no good source of energy on the other side, that would easily explain why they had died. And Axel was different. He needed no energy from outside himself, he generated it and released it to the environment naturally. A very rare gift that the elders had always tried to replicate, but it seemed to be a matter of pure chance. Axel wasn't the only one to have it, but the only other he knew of was very old and tired. He wasn't suited to this task._

"_I'll think about it." He didn't want to see his people suffer a religious war. And… a small thrill went through him. Yes, it would be dangerous. But if he survived… he would see something none of his people had ever seen. Something they had only dreamed of._

_Was it worth the risk? Axel would think about it. But he had a feeling he knew what his answer would be, in the end._

_He loved a good adventure._

Axel turned over again, and the dream dissipated into something more prosaic… a dream about making crème brulee and not being able to find the torch. In the morning, he would remember nothing at all. And so life went on.


	4. No Birth Certificate?

Axel worked on the cars, a frown on his face. It was Sunday and he was the only one in the auto-shop. The owner and most of the other mechanics had families they wanted to visit, but Sora was busy studying for a test and wouldn't miss him so he'd decided to get ahead on things. It would make life for him very easy on Monday.

_Axel, can we talk while you do this? I want to try a few things._ Axel sighed as he heard Roxas' voice again.

He'd been seeing Dr. Zexion for several weeks and it didn't seem to be doing much good. Roxas didn't want to talk to him anymore and the various techniques Zexion had tried to draw him out hadn't worked. Roxas had told him pithily that it was because he wasn't an alternate personality at all, but something completely outside himself. Zexion wasn't willing to accept that anymore than Axel was, but Roxas was turning out to be remarkably opaque. Axel was trying not to respond to Roxas anywhere that people might hear him. He didn't like looking crazy in front of his friends. But they were alone right now. So he might as well see what his hallucinations wanted.

"Sure, why not." Axel said with a notable lack of enthusiasm. Roxas laughed softly at him.

_Gee thanks. Okay. I'm trying to imitate Zexion here. Tell me, Axel, how old was Larxene when you met her?_ Axel blinked, wondering what that question had to do with anything.

"Uh, twenty I think. Why?"

_Just humor me. How old were you?_

"Eighteen." Axel frowned. Something about that didn't sound quite right, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

_How old is she now?_

"Twenty-six." Axel shrugged and went back to his motor. Roxas was just asking him silly, meaningless questions. His hallucinations were really very strange.

_And how old are you right now?_

"Eighteen." Axel paused again, rubbing a finger against his head for a moment as the feeling of wrongness increased. But then it went away and he went back to his work. Roxas waited patiently for a long moment, then sighed.

_Talk about blank with a capital B. Am I the only one who notes a certain inconsistency there?_

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Axel thought he'd gotten the problem and decided to test the motor. It revved up nicely. Another repair job well done.

_Well, yes, that would be the problem._ Axel ignored Roxas as he started tidying things up. _What's the first thing you remember, Axel? Please, can you try to think about it? This is really important._ Axel sighed.

"Playing with a frog in the woods. What is your problem, Roxas?" Axel heard an irritated hiss in his mind.

_Not just the words! Picture the moment. Can you really remember it Axel? Even vaguely, patchily? Or is it just words? Think Axel, you need to remember!_ Axel frowned as he paused, trying to really remember playing with the frog. Nothing came at all. Axel hesitated, then finally shrugged.

"I have a bad memory, Roxas." Roxas laughed at him, and Axel flushed. Of course his delusions thought his memory sucked. That was the point. "It doesn't mean anything that I can't remember, is what I meant."

_It means a lot, Axel._ Axel sighed and started getting his bag together. There wasn't really anything more to do, and he was starting to feel hungry. For a moment he thought about going home, but suddenly decided that he didn't really want to. Sora wouldn't be available anyway, and he'd read about a new bistro named Petite on the chowhound forums. He had a dog eared fantasy book in his bag, so he was fully prepared for a meal alone at a restaurant. It would be fun to write a review the next day too. Axel was no genius with creative writing, but he could get the point across.

Axel could almost feel Roxas thinking as he drove across town on his motorcycle. Finally, as he was waiting for a light to change, the voice in his mind spoke. _You know, there might be proof._

"Proof of what? My insanity?" Axel whispered, keeping his attention on the road. Roxas snorted.

_Proof that you're not eighteen. Where were you born, Axel?_ Axel hesitated a moment. He had to think about that question, but an answer popped up.

"Memorial General Hospital. Why?" Axel couldn't keep a hint of uneasiness out of his voice. He had a feeling Roxas was going somewhere with this and he didn't like it.

_Find your birth certificate, Axel. Then we'll talk again._ Axel blinked, trying to feel Roxas… but he couldn't. It felt like the other was gone, and he shivered. Why would that bother him, though? He should want the voice to be gone. It was a symptom of his delusions. Yet, somehow, losing Roxas didn't feel good at all. In fact, it was frightening.

Trying to shove aside the feeling, Axel parked his motorcycle and went into the restaurant. He was tempted to completely ignore Roxas command, but if he did he might never hear Roxas again. It shouldn't be too hard to find his birth certificate. A few calls and he would be there.

Axel was completely unaware of yellow eyes watching from an alleyway, but Roxas wasn't. The creature slipped up to the back entrance of the restaurant and began playing with the door, trying to find a way inside. Roxas observed it dispassionately for a moment. It wasn't strong or bright and it seemed terribly out of place. Roxas could almost feel sorry for it. Almost.

But it was still dangerous, and it screamed pathetically as a sword quickly bisected it. Then Roxas vanished. Even that brief moment of substance was a terrible drain on his resources and he fled back to the safety of Axel's burning aura. It was so frustrating, in a lot of ways. If only Axel had remembered, even a bit, he could have channeled some of that awesome power into Roxas and even made him real if he wanted to. But to do any of that he needed to remember. Maybe finding the birth certificate would remind him. Or rather, not finding it. Because it didn't exist.

Roxas could only hope.

* * *

Axel stared at the telephone. He'd gotten together all the information he was going to need to order a birth certificate, called in, and had immediately hit a huge roadblock.

"You knew that was going to happen, didn't you." Axel said to thin air, and Sora looked up from his schoolwork with a frown.

"Knew what was going to happen? Axel, what were you doing?" Axel sighed, hanging up the phone.

"Trying to get a copy of my birth certificate." Axel sighed, hanging up the phone. He'd been informed quite curtly that there was no record for Axel eighteen years ago at Memorial General Hospital. Sora looked a bit puzzled.

"Why?" Axel swallowed, looking at his lover. Sora was looking particularly endearing today, dressed in a yellow blazer and with a smudge of ink on one cheek that he hadn't noticed yet. He ran a hand through his red hair, trying to decide to go with the truth or if he should lie. Axel didn't like lying to Sora, but Sora really didn't like being reminded of his instability. Finally he decided to go with the truth.

"Roxas asked me to." Sora stiffened and Axel looked away, feeling suddenly alone. "He said he wouldn't talk to me again until I did and, well, I kind of like having him talk to me. He doesn't sound like me at all." It was like having a good friend in his head. Roxas was full of advice and always willing to give it. Although the advice wasn't always good. Axel smiled to himself as he remembered what Roxas had suggested he do to a particularly obnoxious customer. It had been an entertaining thought, but it would have gotten him arrested very quickly.

"…Is Dr. Zexion helping at all?" Sora asked, his heart in his eyes. He wanted Axel to be better, and this was bringing back bad memories of his uncle. Axel sighed.

"Honestly? No. But Roxas doesn't really seem dangerous, just weird. He keeps insisting that I have to remember." Sora didn't seem reassured. Understandable, since Axel wasn't very reassured either. "He's going to try putting me on meds soon to help." Axel wondered if it would help. Roxas didn't seem at all worried by the prospect. Speaking of which, where was Roxas? "Roxas? Are you there?" He'd tried to find the certificate. Shouldn't the other be speaking to him again?

_Huh? Oh, sorry. Chem was keeping me busy._ Roxas sounded distracted, and Axel lifted his eyebrows.

"The doll? She talks to you?" He glanced at the doll, who seemed to be grinning. Sora looked at uneasily. He could tell Axel was talking to Roxas now, but it never failed to creep him out.

_She does a lot more than that, but you have to be in tune with the lower planes to really get a grip on what she's up to. She's really strange. It's a long story._ Roxas wasn't sure how to explain it at all, so he didn't want to start. It was easier to let some things go. _You couldn't find the certificate. Does that tell you anything?_

"It tells me I misremembered the name of the hospital." Axel retorted, although he knew he was grasping at straws. There weren't many hospitals in his home town. Roxas sighed.

_No you didn't. You just weren't born there. _

"I had to have been born somewhere!" Axel hissed as Sora watched, worried. Roxas laughed hauntingly, and Axel stiffened as the voice in his mind began to sing.

_The wind blows low and mournful  
Through the Strath of Dalnacreich  
Where once there lived a woman  
Who would a mother be  
For twelve long years a good man's wife  
but ne'er the cradle filled  
A mother of a changeling child from 'neath the fairy hill_

_She traveled to the standing stones  
And crossed into the green  
Where all the host of elven folk  
were dancing there unseen  
Through the night she bargained  
with the Queen of fairies all  
who sent her home at dawning with a babe beneath her shawl_

_How their home was joyful  
with a son to call their own  
But soon they saw the years that passed  
would never make him grow  
The fairies would not answer her  
The stones were dark and slept  
A babe was all she asked for, and their promises they'd kept_

_The wind blows low and mournful  
Through the Strath of Dalnacreich  
Where once there lived a woman  
Who would a mother be  
For fifty years she rocked that babe  
it's said she rocks him still  
A mother of a changeling child from 'neath the fairy hill._

_That's you Axel._ Roxas whispered in his mind as something began to stir in his mind like a great leviathan. It was huge and dark and frightening and Axel knew that if it broke the surface, nothing would ever be the same. _Your parents wanted you but they didn't have you, no. You came into their lives to fill the need they felt for a child but you never age and you never change and someday, you'll fade out of their lives and they'll just vaguely remember that you were there. And that isn't a bad thing. It will be a good memory, a memory of life and light and all the good things you were to them. That's what you do. You'll do it to Sora too in the end. You've already done it to Larxene. Can't you see? You're always eighteen._

"NO!" Axel jumped to his feet as Sora started violently, dropping his pen. He pressed his hands over his ears, closing his eyes tightly as he thrust away that thing in his mind. "No, you're lying! I'm not always eighteen! My parents have always been my parents! This is crazy! Shut up Roxas, shut up!" Axel ran out of the room as Sora tried to follow, but Axel didn't notice him. He wasn't sure where he was going, what he was doing.

What seemed like a few moments later, he found himself on the roof, sobbing as he leaned against the railing. Sora ran up behind him, breathless, and put his arms around him, trying to comfort him.

"It's okay Axel, it's okay." Sora crooned softly as Axel shook his head, gripping the brunette tightly. He lifted his head, gazing out over the city for a moment and suddenly seeing something odd flashed across his vision. As if the city was abruptly surrounded by a haze of fuzzy light, and Axel felt that thing rising in his mind again. He gasped and buried his face in Sora's chest, waiting for it to vanish again. It was too much for him to bear.

Roxas watched sadly as Axel wept into Sora's shirt. He'd known this would happen, but there was nothing he could do, no matter how traumatic it became for Axel.

He needed to remember if he wanted to live.


	5. Unfaithful

Zexion frowned down at his papers.

He was alarmed by the sudden deterioration in Axel's condition. Axel had told him about his panic attack, if it had been a panic attack, but that hadn't been the end of things. He was often having hallucinations now, and Roxas claimed that he was actually seeing into the infrared and ultraviolet spectrums and that it was nothing to be concerned about. Of course, that was physically impossible. But Zexion was getting the strangest feeling that something very odd was going on. It was all because of the sun lamp.

He had a sun lamp in his office that gave his little hibiscus tree the light it needed to put out blooms. Their last session Axel had taken a look at it and mentioned that the light bulb needed replacing. When asked how he knew, Axel had admitted to the hallucinations and said that he could tell the light bulb was about done.

The bulb had burnt out the next day. Zexion was currently considering it a coincidence but it was quite odd. And now there was a completely unrelated problem. Demyx hadn't come home last night and their mother was in a state. It truly was alarming because Demyx never failed to call home, but the police weren't willing to treat it as a missing persons case just yet. Zexion tried to concentrate on his work as Axel walked into the room. There was nothing he could do to help his parents.

"Doctor! What's this I hear about Demyx being missing?" Axel sounded very concerned and Zexion winced. Of course he would know, Demyx was his friend and their parents had called everyone looking for him.

"Yes, he didn't come home last night. We still haven't found him." Axel bit his lip as he took a seat.

"Are you feeling up to this?" Zexion smiled faintly. It was so like the redhead to worry about whether or not he could continue the sessions right now.

"There's nothing I can do to help, and my work will keep my mind occupied." It was a bit cold, perhaps, but he really couldn't help his parents. They were doing all they could. Axel looked a little dubious but nodded, sitting down across from him. The session was completely normal except for one odd little moment.

"Here, Doctor, I think this is yours." Zexion reached out to take what Axel was holding, not really looking at it, and pulled back with a gasp as something cut him. "Oh I'm sorry! Actually, I think this is garbage." Zexion blinked at the piece of broken glass in the redhead's hand, wondering where that had come from, then down at the cut on his hand. It was really very tiny although it stung. No worse than a paper cut, really.

"It's nothing to worry about." Axel absently put the glass into his pocket and Zexion thought no more about it. Once the session was over, though, Axel went directly to his bike and pulled out a map before going to a nearby coffee shop.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Axel muttered very softly to Roxas. There was a spectral sigh in his mind.

_It will be fine Axel. The question is, is it really necessary? Only you can answer that._ Axel didn't have to think twice.

"It is." He was dead certain Demyx wouldn't have gone off without letting his parents know where he was going. It just wasn't in character for the musician. Axel conscientiously bought a drink before spreading his map out over the table. He didn't actually need the coffee, but it was impolite to take up a table without making a purchase.

Axel regarded the shard of glass with misgivings. Coached by Roxas, he'd brought that glass into the session and carefully arranged things to cut Zexion. According to Roxas, with the blood of a close relative he could easily find Demyx on a map. It was all freaking him out a little and he didn't necessarily believe it would work, but for Demyx he was prepared to try. And who knew? Maybe he had some kind of psychic powers and Roxas was a manifestation of them. Axel was more willing to believe in psychic's than time traveling super creatures from the future.

_Whatever. Just do it. _Roxas was impatient now, and Axel took a deep breath. He didn't like this part at all. But he brought to glass to his lips and licked off the blood. It was dried now, of course, but it didn't matter. The flakes were fine. _Good. Now…_ Axel nodded, closing his eyes to meditate. He was unaware of his own hands moving, putting thumb tacks into the map at certain locations. _Done._

"Huh? You've got six marks in the map!" Axel objected and Roxas laughed.

_We're just picking up close relatives, Axel. To find no one but Demyx I'd need HIS blood. And if we had that, this wouldn't be an issue._ Axel blinked and regarded the map thoughtfully.

"Oh… I see. I guess that makes sense." Two of the pins he easily dismissed as Demyx's parents. He knew where Demyx lived. Another was clearly Zexion himself, but the other three were a bit confusing. "Hold on a sec." Axel pulled out his cell phone and dialed Demyx's parents. "Hi, ma'am? This is Axel."

_Axel! Have you heard from Demyx? _Axel winced. That would be the first thing she asked.

"I'm afraid not, but I was wondering, do you have any relatives in Bellevue, North Cumberland and Renalto?" Those were the neighborhoods in question. Demyx's mother was silent for a moment, then responded, bewildered.

_My sister lives in Bellevue and Richard's brother lives in North Cumberland. Why? _Axel's eyes fixed on the last tack as he nodded to himself.

"Nothing ma'am, just looking into something. Don't worry about it, I'll be in touch if I hear anything about Demyx." He said soothingly and hung up. She'd think he was weird as hell but that was okay, it was nothing but the truth after all. "Renalto. Hmm." Axel looked thoughtfully at the pin and frowned. "That's an industrial district, what would he be doing there?"

_I suggest we find out. And make sure you bring the doll. _Axel sighed as plotted a route in his mind, then put away the map.

He wasn't sure exactly how Chemistra was going to help them, but he wasn't about to argue with Roxas right now.

* * *

"Hmmm." Axel carefully examined the lock on the warehouse before he began trying to pick it with a long, thin piece of wire. He'd always been very good with locks although he wasn't sure where he had learned it. It was just one of those things he'd picked up.

_You've been picking locks for thousands of years, Axel. _He ignored Roxas, concentrating on the lock. It was all absurd anyway. _If I had a body I would so kick you in the ass right now._

"I'm trying to work here!" He snarled, catching his tongue between his teeth as he concentrated. The lock was stiff and he wished he'd thought to bring a bottle of WD-40 along with him. A few quick squirts would have helped immensely. "Aha." Finally the lock clicked open and Axel pulled it away before easing open the door. He winced as the hinges creaked and wished again for that bottle of oil. It had so many uses for breaking and entering and Axel steadfastedly refused to consider how he knew that when he couldn't remember doing a break and enter in his life.

The interior of the building wasn't nice at all. It looked like generations of rats and cockroaches had been making it a home, and Axel grimaced at the smell as he walked through the building on cat feet. Axel's eyes went cold and hard as he heard a very familiar voice, desperately begging.

"Please stop, please. I can't t-take -" A soft scream and sobbing followed. Axel peeked into the room and felt sick at the scene.

The man straddling Demyx, holding a knife, was actually very, very attractive. He almost resembled Axel, in fact, with short red, spiky hair. Not as brilliantly red as his own but close. Axel was glumly certain that Demyx had picked up the man in a bar, not imagining something like this could happen. The hotness of the man made the whole thing a bit more obscene, somehow. Axel had always pictured rapists as big, hulking, hairy men. Of course that was rather silly, now that he thought about it. The biggest, hairiest man he knew worked at the machine shop and was very kind to puppies and children. Then the man opened a slice on Demyx's arm, making him scream again, and Axel gritted his teeth as he realized how bruised the young man was.

_Throw Chem at him._ Axel hesitated, looking at the doll in his hand. Chemistra was grinning almost as sadistically as the man kneeling over Demyx. Axel decided to just take it on faith and threw the doll at the man.

There was a warping in the air and a full grown woman knocked the man off Demyx with a wild, happy laugh. The rapist was screaming as Axel ran into the room and grabbed Demyx, dragging him out of the room. The musician was staring at the spectacle and Axel glanced over just long enough to see a gout of blood spray across the floor. Was Chemistra _eating_ him? Axel heard a tearing sound and averted his eyes, dragging Dem out of the room. He didn't need to see this, although being devoured by a demon couldn't happen to a nicer person.

"Axel? Oh god, Axel, thank you!" Demyx was hugging him now and Axel shrugged off his coat, putting it over him. Demyx burst into relieved sobs, but soon he was asking. "What was that thing? She tore him to pieces!" Demyx asked as Axel dragged him out of the building, and the redhead hesitated. How could he tell Demyx the truth? That Chemistra was a being from a lower reality? And did he believe it himself? Although it was very hard to deny now that he'd gotten a graphic demonstration.

_We shouldn't let him remember. Let me take care of it, Axel._ Axel swallowed and gave control over to Roxas. The blonde gripped Demyx's face with Axel's hands, making him twitch in surprise.

"I'm sorry Demy, but it would be better if you didn't remember my part in this." But despite it being Axel's voice speaking, the cooler, collected tone wasn't Axel at all. Demyx's eyes widened then glazed as bright green eyes stared intently into them. Axel felt Roxas doing something, something very delicate and marveled at the control the other had. But he didn't really believe in Roxas… did he?

_You're so hilarious Axel. He'll remember what happened to him but his memories of how he was freed will be confused. You should take him back to his parents and say you saw him wandering around._

"What about Chem?" Axel glanced back nervously at the back of the building. He wasn't going back in that room, but what about the doll? Roxas laughed.

_She'll find her way back to you. Don't worry about her. _Axel remembered the blood all over the floor and decided that if Roxas said the doll would get back to him, he was willing to take that on faith. He really, really didn't want to go back to get her. Axel helped a dazed Demyx onto his bike, hoping no one got a really good look at them as they went through the streets. His jacket wasn't covering as much as he'd like. Fortunately, no one pointed and screamed and they made it safely back to his parents place. When Axel rang the doorbell, Demyx's mother answered immediately. She was an older woman with a very sweet face and a delicate beauty even later in life.

"Axel – DEMYX!" She ignored him to grab her son and hug him. Demyx stirred out of the daze Roxas had put him into and hugged her back, suddenly bursting into tears.

"Mama… mama…!" Axel tried to back off but she dragged them both into the house before shutting the door firmly.

"Where have you been Demyx?" She asked, then took in the fact that he was wearing nothing but Axel's jacket and paled. "My god, what happened?" Demyx started babbling the whole story as his mother wrapped a blanket around him. It was pretty much what Axel had expected. Although it did take one unexpected turn.

"…And he looked a bit like Axel and I've always wished I could get together with Axel…" Demyx's mother stopped, horrified, and shot Axel an apologetic look as the redhead blinked, surprised. He'd never been interested in Demyx that way, the blonde was a bit too bubbly for him and he'd never had any idea Dem was interested. Demyx stopped, just as horrified as he realized who was listening. "Oh god Axel! I – I didn't mean for you to hear that!"

"Hey, Demyx, it's okay." Axel said soothingly as the blonde started to panic. "I know I'm unbearably sexy. Just tell your mom the rest." That startled a weak giggle out of the musician, and he managed to continue the story of being abducted, beaten and raped repeatedly. He was crying by the end of it and his mother was hugging him tightly. Although Demyx got very fuzzy when he tried to remember how he escaped. Axel suddenly frowned. He knew he should know how that had happened, but the details were getting fuzzy in his mind. Had it involved the doll? He could hear Roxas heaving an exasperated sigh in his mind but tuned it out for now.

"It doesn't matter." His mother said firmly as she picked up the phone. "I'm calling the police. You get dressed, sweety, if you can help him Axel?" Axel nodded, putting an arm around Demyx's shoulders. The blonde cuddled up against him, desperately needing the comfort as Axel helped him to his room.

_He does like you._ Roxas sounded amused but also… wistful? Axel shook his head, ignoring that as he helped Demyx get dressed. He was sure Demyx was just crushing a bit. When he was fully clothed Axel just held him, letting the other boy cry out the pain, the hurt. He was so young to have gotten himself in such a predicament. Axel just hoped it didn't scar him for life. _I'm sure it won't, with you helping. You have a good energy._

"You sound like a new age psychic Roxas." Axel murmured very softly and Demyx didn't notice, sniffing as Axel patted him on the back. Then he heard sounds at the door and looked at Demyx. "You ready to talk to the cops?"

"Y-yes." Demyx sniffed again, rubbing his face against his arm before letting Axel help him up. Before it was over they all had to go down to the police station to make statements. Officers went to the warehouse Axel described and found a fresh body that looked like it had been torn apart by wild dogs. Axel shuddered at that description, wondering what could have done such a thing.

_Dealing with you makes my head hurt. Honestly Axel, can your head possibly be wedged any farther up your butt?_ Roxas tone was waspish and Axel resolutely ignored him. _You're going to pay for this later._ Axel wasn't particularly worried. What was Roxas going to do, yell at him? He did that already.

Axel let himself into his home, suspecting nothing as he went to the kitchen to start supper. Until hard hands grabbed him from behind and slammed him into a wall.

"Hey-!" Axel's exclamation was cut off when hot, sweet lips pressed against his. He jerked back and stared at the spiky haired blonde pinning him against the wall and glaring at him. "Roxas? How the fuck?"

"Chemistra absorbed a lot of energy when she ate that man." Axel's head whirled a bit. Ate him? "She's letting me have it. I'm going to prove to you I'm real, you impossible idiot." Axel groaned as Roxas kissed him again. He couldn't deny the electrical spark between them, the thrill of connection. It was like Roxas was somehow linked to him on a fundamental level, something Sora could never match no matter how many times they made love.

_Of course he's linked to me. He's an alternate personality!_ Axel tried to reason with himself. _Wait, if he's an alternate personality I'm not being unfaithful to Sora. This is like – like masturbation. Yeah._ Roxas didn't seem to be aware of his thoughts for once, pulling him to the bedroom roughly and working his clothes off. For some kind of time traveling energy being he seemed to understand buttons and zippers just fine. Axel groaned as small, hot hands pushed down his boxes and pulled out his length, stroking and touching almost curiously.

"You know for some weird energy creature from the far off future, you seem to know what you're doing." Axel muttered as he pushed Roxas down onto the bed, nipping the boy's neck. Roxas arched up against him and Axel blinked as his clothing suddenly vanished. Which was good, he'd been having a hard time finding any buttons and zippers in it. Their cocks rubbed together and Axel gasped, enjoying the friction as they rolled their hips together.

"Your reports have been quite detailed." Roxas managed to say, his breathing uneven as sweat beaded on his soft, velvety skin. "I've been – looking forward to this." That was interesting but Axel wasn't going to allow himself to be distracted. He found the lube on the bedstand by feel and began gently stretching Roxas, still rolling their hips together, keeping up that delicious heat and friction between them. Axel looked into warm blue eyes and felt his breath catch in his throat as that connection hit him again. Roxas was so _intense, _so _real_, like nothing else in the world mattered but the blond under him. Axel felt his sight slipping into that unreal state where he was seeing heat and energy and for once, he didn't care. Because he could see Roxas' energy and it was… beautiful. Looping whorls and delicate twists and spirals that were elegant and sophisticated in a way he could never be. Although there was something incomplete about them, something that begged for Axel's touch. A touch he was more than willing to give.

Their bodies joined together that night, but that was the least of what they did. Axel screamed in a pleasure that went beyond lust, beyond orgasm, feeling _Roxas_ coiling around him and over him and even inside him. Roxas was screaming too, and Axel heard him speaking his name. Not the name he wore as a human, but a name that was a mathematical equation. It was like music on his ears, a fierce and powerful name that he tried desperately to fix in his mind. It was beautiful, just like this moment, like the feeling of Roxas and the passion between them.

The two were completely oblivious to Sora opening the door, taking one look at what was happening on the bed, and going pale as he slowly backed away then turned and ran out the door…


	6. Riku and Wormholes

Riku grimaced as he ran a hand through his hair.

He didn't care for his current assignment, largely because it had gone on far too long. He had thought his investigation would be over in six months at the most, when he started. He hadn't anticipated still being in place a year and a half later.

He was investigating a religious cult. This group was fairly selective in its recruiting and it had taken some work for him to make it inside. He'd done it by pretending to be interested but suspicious, making them work to convert him, struggle to convince him. Their religion was superficially rather benign. They believed in an ancient god of fire and apparently had several artifacts blessed by him. The cult was very secretive, though, and that set off plenty of alarm bells at the FBI. So Riku had been set to work his way inside.

Now he had a very good position in the cult, making good money as a hydroponics technician. The cult was unusual in being fully self-sufficient in terms of cash flow. They had a truly sophisticated operation and grew organic herbs and made organic soaps and shampoos that sold surprisingly well. The community was also full of very gifted artists. Riku had been amazed by some of the glass and metalwork available and had been told it all sold quite well on Etsy and eBay. He was sure that was true. The group also did quite a bit of traditional farming, but that just went to feed the commune, except for the honey. That was traded and sold at farmers markets along with everything else.

It was all quite admirable except for the secrecy, but Riku had been told that was to preserve the artifacts from inquisitive and disrespectful scientists. At first he'd been skeptical but now he was beginning to wonder if that might actually be the real reason. He'd finally gotten high up in the organization to get a glimpse of one of the artifacts and it had been a very odd experience. He hadn't mentioned it to his superiors because it just sounded odd, but touching that piece of inscribed red jade had made him feel… good. The stone had been warm to the touch and he'd felt happy the rest of the day. Riku wasn't really a naturally happy person so it had been a peculiar experience. He vaguely wished he could touch the jade again. It wasn't an addiction by any means, but he'd liked that feeling.

"Riku." He started at the familiar voice and turned to look at the leader of the cult, an older man who styled himself Aristophanes. Or just Ari for short. He was a handsome man with jet black hair and warm brown eyes, but he wasn't as charismatic as you might expect from a cult leader. The appeal to the cult was in the artifacts, not him. "Do you have a moment?"

"Of course." Riku put away his tools as Ari motioned him to follow. "What is it?"

"Karen thinks you should be exposed to one of our greater artifacts." That caught Riku's attention. "You would be seeing it soon anyway at the fire dance, but she thinks you might be the best person to use it this year. It actually does something, you see."

"Does something?" Riku echoed, wondering what the man meant. It was strange enough that the items could induce moods, what else could they do? And did he want to know? Ari smiled tiredly and Riku caught a faint echo of pain in his eyes. Was the man well?

"Yes. We use it to start the sacred bonfire every year, and it has an interesting effect when you begin to dance." Ari opened a door before he could ask anymore questions and Riku blinked as he saw Karen there, standing in front of a dummy garbed in… what?

It looked like a crude suit of leather armor. It was decorated with artistic burn marks that had inscribed a pattern that looked vaguely mathematical. A few old scars marred the armor, but it was oiled and looked ready to be worn. Riku glanced at Ari and carefully reached out to touch the armor. He got the same feeling from it as he had from the jade, but stronger. It felt like the armor was a good thing, something that would make nice things happen.

"Put it on Riku." Karen urged him and Riku hesitated only a moment before trying on the armor. It was a good thing no one had a camera or he'd be ribbed ceaselessly back at the FBI for –

"Ah!" Riku started violently as fire flared around his hands. "What is this?" He stared at his hands, aghast. Fire was dancing between his fingers, lighting the room brightly but not burning him. He flexed his hands and the fire sparked and flowed in a very unnatural way.

"It reacts strongly to him. I told you it would." Karen seemed pleased with herself and Ari just shrugged with a small smile. "That is our greatest artifact, the armor the god wore when he lived among our ancestors. He left us to go seek… well, you know that story. But he left the armor." Riku nodded. He was aware of the mythology the cult subscribed to.

According to the story, the god of fire had come among them to learn about humans, long before Christ was born. He'd taught humanity how to make steel and several other things, but had seemed unhappy with what he was learning. Finally he'd told his followers that he couldn't really learn about humans without being one, and that to do that he would have to forget everything he'd ever been. After that he'd vanished, but left all of his items behind. Objects that had been so close to him for so long that they'd soaked up his power and kept it all through the years. Riku had thought it was an interesting story but complete balderdash. Staring at his hands, he wondered what this could mean.

He had to report this to his superiors now. Although they would probably think he was insane.

* * *

Axel recovered quickly from what he had done with Roxas. It left him feeling oddly drained yet exhilarated, and he could hear Roxas humming his pleasure in the back of his mind. It was a good feeling. Axel yawned, stretching and slipping out of bed, grabbing his clothes and pulling them back on. He was really hungry now and Sora would be getting home any minute. In fact he should already have –

"How could you?" Axel stopped, surprised, as he walked into the living room. Sora was staring at him, his eyes red from crying.

"How could I what?" Axel asked, baffled and winced as Sora pushed past him with a sob. "Sora?"

"Don't act like I'm st-stupid!" Sora yelled at him as Axel stared, taken aback. What was the brunette talking about? What was he so upset about?

_He saw us._ Roxas whispered to him and Axel's eyes widened. That wasn't possible unless Roxas was _real._

"Sora, you saw that? You really saw it?" Sora's glare could have seared the finish off a piece of furniture and Axel quickly tried to change his tone. "I mean, that was Roxas! I, uh, thought it was just a hallucination."

"That doesn't make it better!" Axel swallowed, feeling sick as he realized Sora was packing his things. Where was the brunette going? "I don't want to deal with this anymore! You're picking up random guys and saying you thought they were hallucinations? I'm leaving Axel!" Axel stared. He hadn't meant for this to happen and even though he'd thought Sora would eventually leave he didn't want this. It was going all wrong.

_Yes. He'll remember and the memories will be painful. Normally you would push him away and he would have a gentle forgetting, but not this time. _Roxas sounded sad and Axel combed a hand through his hair, trying to figure out what to do.

"Where are you going?" Axel asked as Sora slammed his suitcase shut.

"I'm not telling you. Get out of my way Axel." Sora said bitterly and Axel drew a breath, tempted to try to stop him… but to what end?

"Don't… get into trouble, Sora." Axel said softly and frowned as he felt Roxas do something. What was that? His gaze briefly phased into that odd state where he could see energy and he could see a faint tie between himself and Sora.

_You're concerned for him and you might be right to be. He's taken a bit of your aura from being around you for so long. I've used it to connect the two of you, if he's in danger you'll know._ Axel felt a great relief at that. Sora couldn't go back to his parents so Axel would have had no idea where he was going, but now he could at least be sure the brunette was safe. Sora pushed past him, slamming the door behind him as Axel stared blankly after him.

Wait. Was he believing all this?

"I need to remember." For the very first time, Axel gripped his hair and tried to remember. Not his history with his family, but that great, uncomfortable thing that kept rising up in his mind. He opened his eyes and saw heat, electromagnetic currents, things that he couldn't comprehend or describe. At the moment. "I need to remember!" Roxas was silent as Axel shuddered and images filled his mind.

"_This is great!" Down in the hold of a dark, slightly fetid ship. But so much life and warmth. An Scotsman playing the bagpipes, and an English lad with a guitar, striking up a bizarre duet._

"_No, this is terrible. How can you say that lad?" An older man feeling discombobulated by the movement of the ship and the smell. Axel grinned at him and patted his shoulder._

"_You'll be feeling better when we're in America." The red hair's enthusiasm was infectious and the man brightened a little, managing a bit of a smile._

A shift in time and Axel drew in a sharp breath as he remembered something new.

_Squirting oil into door hinges and carefully jigging the lock, Axel slipped into the room. The young, dark skinned boy following him was worried and Axel shot him a reassuring glance_

"_Calmly, Jacob." He said softly, almost breathing the words as he moved over the beautiful marble floors with cat feet. "We'll leave our message and go."_

"_Still think this is stupid." He mumbled as Axel placed a mutilated, 'bloody' doll into the babies crib._

"_As our employers go this is a gentle message." Axel replied, looking at the doll. "Hopefully he'll take the point." Or the next message might be more pointed. And the blood wouldn't be fake. But that would be someone else's job and Axel grinned as they slipped back out. "Let's go see your girl. I could do with some home cooking."_

Memory after memory came back until Axel felt like his head might explode. But then the flow slowed and stopped. Axel blinked, realizing that all the memories were still there… but he didn't have to remember them unless he chose. Feeling delighted, he danced among the memories, looking at snippets of life all through history.

"Wow." Lunatic hilarity touched him and he grinned. "What a historian wouldn't give to interview me!"

_They'd never believe – um, Axel, where are you going?_ Roxas sounded vaguely worried. He could feel the way Axel's aura was sparking and while it was doing wonders for him, he was getting far more energy than normal, it was alarming. Axel was grinning like a lunatic as he grabbed the piece of paper he'd written his name on and ran up the stairwell to the roof. _Axel?_

"I'm going to have fun with this, Roxas!" Axel laughed and sparks danced in his hair. Sora was entirely forgotten as the redhead leapt onto the edge of the roof, without a care in the world as he danced along it.

_Axel, people are gathering below you. _Roxas observed after a while. _From what I can pick up they think you might jump._

"I could! What do you think?" Axel said gaily. He could jump and float or jump and fly. Like Superman!

_I think that would be really stupid. Axel, have you forgotten there are people looking for you? _Roxas was starting to feel extremely worried as he watched Axel. He wasn't going unstable, exactly, but his burning aura was flowing and sparking in a way that struck Roxas as unhealthy. And clearly other people agreed.

"Axel! What are you doing?" Axel turned, a touch surprised to see Dr. Zexion behind him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, then grinned. "Oh, you've been sent to talk me off the ledge! Don't worry Doctor, I've got it covered. Oh hey, look!" Axel tossed the piece of paper to Zexion, and he caught it with a vaguely puzzled air.

"What is this?" He stared at the paper, frowning. There was a mathematical equation written on it. It was hard for him to understand, although he had taken some math courses.

"It's my name!" Axel spread his arms and took a single step. Zexion blanched and tried to lunge forward… and stopped with a gasp as Axel stood in midair. "It's amazing when you know that matter doesn't really… matter!" Zexion stood, stunned, as the crowd below murmured and pointed.

_Axel, this is really stupid. You're putting out TOO much power now. You're going to be easy to track. _Axel ignored the caution. What did it matter? Let them come! _Now that's REALLY stupid. You're not invulnerable Axel, you're not invulnerable at all._

"Hush Roxas, I want to have fun." It had been so long since he'd really let loose with his power, so long since he'd had an audience… Axel suddenly paused as he remembered why that was. "I wiped my own memories so I could really experience being human? Wow, now there's dedication to the scientific method. But hey, you guys have gotten enough data right?

_Uh, I suppose. _Axel blinked as he suddenly felt a hand on his arm and looked into Zexion's slightly panicked face.

"Axel, please get back on the roof." Zexion was breathing too quickly and Axel decided to humor him before the man had a heart attack. He stepped back onto the roof and Roxas spoke up again.

_Axel, you need to get out of the city. There are far too many people here. Make a wormhole. _Axel blinked as he remembered. Twisted spacetime. Now that he could think in several extra dimensions it would be easy to make but –

"To where?" Noticing Zexion looking at him suspiciously Axel cheerfully elaborated. "Roxas wants me to wormhole out. But don't I need a destination?" He asked the voice in his mind and Roxas pondered the problem for a moment.

_You could use some of your memories but the locations might have changed. That could be troublesome. Just… ah. You remember the artifacts you left with that nation you founded way back? _Axel blinked as he remembered. It had been in Africa, and his appearance had been much different then although he'd still had red hair. Red hair had been his trademark.

"Uh, yes, vaguely… holy shit, how many concubines did I HAVE?" The memories he was accessing were seriously interesting and Axel winced as Roxas suddenly gave him a mental slap.

"What are you talking about?" Zexion was getting very annoyed by all the non-sequiters going on. "Axel, you need help. Clearly there's something unusual going on here but –" Axel tuned him out as Roxas spoke again. _The artifacts you left with them are still around and serving as a focus for a religious group. Aim high in the air so you don't hit anything._ Axel frowned as he understood what Roxas meant. Two pieces of matter occupying the same area was a very bad thing, although in his own time it was something he'd never had to worry about.

"I have this." He muttered as he spun out his power, marveling at the way reality twisted and bent at his command. He heard Zexion gasp but didn't stop, didn't care what the man was seeing. Trusting in Roxas and his new insights, he looked deep into twisted spacetime and took a step into the unknown.

Several small, dark creatures crept out onto the roof but they were too late, and vanished with a hiss of frustration as Zexion glanced around, eyes wide. They didn't particularly care if they were seen or not, but they had nothing to do here.

Their quarry had escaped for now.


End file.
